Michael was born in mid 2000. It wasn't the easiest of pregnancies. I was very close to getting gestational diabetes, and suffered a lot from heart burn and sickness throughout the duration. When he was born, he was a very large infant, weighing in at 10lb 8oz. He was so big that he dislocated his shoulder on the way out, and the poor boy had to have it put back into place. He had the cord wrapped around his neck, and came out blue, but he did recover quite quickly.
I didn't realise it at the time, but this was the start of our journey together with autism. Getting to know my son, watching him grow. The slow anxiety that comes when things don't quite happen when they should. The reading, studying online, the endless parade of doctors, paediatricians, psychologist, speech therapists, occupational therapists. Then school, involving special ed teachers, guidance officers, teacher aides, teachers. Sometimes, the amount of people involved in our lives seems endless.
But back then, that was all ahead of me. For the first few months of his life, he was a wonderful baby. Quiet, happy and content. I had a very talkative, busy three year old at the time, so considered myself fortunate that I had an adaptable baby! Looking back, I realise now that he was too quiet. He didn't do anywhere near the amount of babbling, and two way interaction that a baby should do. He was always so content to be by himself, and play by himself. I still gave him lots of time and attention, but wasn't paying enough attention to what he wasn't doing.
I don't know if I would have been able to change anything, but I suppose I will always wonder what if...., it is after all, human nature to do so.
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