Thursday 29 December 2011
Christmas
Haven't been on here for a while. The kids are on holidays, and tend to take up my computer time, and although I know I can do this on my phone, I don't know how to, and can't figure it out. Oh well! We had a lovely Christmas this year. I was so proud of my son. We went to our brother and sister-in-laws place, and although there were many people he knew, there was one man he hadn't met at all before. My son shook his hand when offered, and said Merry Christmas too him! I was quite amazed, and very proud. He said Merry Christmas to most people there, and was polite and quiet for most of the time. He didn't eat anything, but seemed happy. I took him home after about three hours, and he had pizza for his tea, which made him very happy. Overall, a very succesful day for my boy.
Wednesday 7 December 2011
Grade Three
I want to share a story from his grade 3 year. His teacher that year was one of his best, and Michael really blossomed under him. The whole class was good for him that year, and he really enjoyed himself.
One afternoon, when picking Michael up, his teacher told me the story of what had occurred that day. They had had a maths test that day. Now maths happens to be Michael's best subject. He has a great knowledge of all things numbers, and it is definitely one of his strengths. He doesn't like writing however. He has low muscle tone in his limbs, quite common with autism, which can make writing hard and tiring. 10 minutes writing for a child with low muscle tone, can be equivalent to 40 minutes for a child with normal strength.
So, this particular day, Michael was in the middle of this test, and he decides he needs a break. The desks had all been arranged in testing style. Michael hops out of his desk, and proceeds to look at every single child's work. Offering suggestions here and there, but basically just sticky-beaking!
Now, did anyone try and stop him, or tell him off? Of course not! The teacher actively encouraged it, and the students all moved when he came by so he could have a better view! If any other child had tried this, they would have been disciplined and sent back to their seat. But not Michael! No one even thought of trying to curb it! No one resented this either. None of the children seem to mind that in some things, Michael gets treated differently. It seems to be just a part of who his is to them.
This nurturing environment has been just wonderful for Michael. It may make some aspects of high school and beyond a bit tougher, but I firmly believe that the more secure a child is early on (any child), the more confident and able they will be later in life. We shall see in the next few years if I am correct I suppose!
One afternoon, when picking Michael up, his teacher told me the story of what had occurred that day. They had had a maths test that day. Now maths happens to be Michael's best subject. He has a great knowledge of all things numbers, and it is definitely one of his strengths. He doesn't like writing however. He has low muscle tone in his limbs, quite common with autism, which can make writing hard and tiring. 10 minutes writing for a child with low muscle tone, can be equivalent to 40 minutes for a child with normal strength.
So, this particular day, Michael was in the middle of this test, and he decides he needs a break. The desks had all been arranged in testing style. Michael hops out of his desk, and proceeds to look at every single child's work. Offering suggestions here and there, but basically just sticky-beaking!
Now, did anyone try and stop him, or tell him off? Of course not! The teacher actively encouraged it, and the students all moved when he came by so he could have a better view! If any other child had tried this, they would have been disciplined and sent back to their seat. But not Michael! No one even thought of trying to curb it! No one resented this either. None of the children seem to mind that in some things, Michael gets treated differently. It seems to be just a part of who his is to them.
This nurturing environment has been just wonderful for Michael. It may make some aspects of high school and beyond a bit tougher, but I firmly believe that the more secure a child is early on (any child), the more confident and able they will be later in life. We shall see in the next few years if I am correct I suppose!
Tuesday 6 December 2011
Guilt
It amazes me the amount of guilt we put upon ourselves as mothers, parents, or just people. I have constantly battled emotions within myself which can tear me down, and make me paralyzed in what I'm doing. It's all those 'what if' or 'if only' statements.
IF ONLY I had taken better care of myself while pregnant!
IF ONLY I wasn't close to having gestational diabetes!
IF ONLY I hadn't given him that drop of milk when he was three months or so, and he hadn't had that allergic reaction!
WHAT IF I had noticed earlier that his babbling development wasn't progressing enough!
IF ONLY I had made him be better!
WHAT IF we had spent more time with him, loved him more, held him more!
The list is endless.
Should we have got him into intense therapy earlier? Would it have helped or put too much pressure on him?
How affected was he by that illness he had at around two? The one that I didn't notice until we needed to go to hospital?
Could I have done anything, been anything, be doing anything different, that would make my son not have autism? How many things can I possibly feel guilty for?
In the end, these feelings of guilt, I have to shake them off. NOTHING I do now can change what happened in the past. I can only do the best with what I have, with who I am. I don't know exactly why my son, or any child for that matter has autism. There is no known cause, just as there is no real cure. I shouldn't feel guilty for trusting my gut, and doing what I believe is best for my child. No one knows my child better than me, and I am currently his advocate when dealing with the world. Every parent wants to protect there child. When your child is not quite the same as another, those feelings of protection seem to intensify.
I still battle with guilt, even if when I'm rational I realise its unjustified. But I no longer let it paralyse me. Journeying with autism has made me a stronger person. Able to stand up and defend not only my son, but myself. I wouldn't wish autism on anyone, but I wouldn't trade who I am today with who I was before I started this journey.
IF ONLY I had taken better care of myself while pregnant!
IF ONLY I wasn't close to having gestational diabetes!
IF ONLY I hadn't given him that drop of milk when he was three months or so, and he hadn't had that allergic reaction!
WHAT IF I had noticed earlier that his babbling development wasn't progressing enough!
IF ONLY I had made him be better!
WHAT IF we had spent more time with him, loved him more, held him more!
The list is endless.
Should we have got him into intense therapy earlier? Would it have helped or put too much pressure on him?
How affected was he by that illness he had at around two? The one that I didn't notice until we needed to go to hospital?
Could I have done anything, been anything, be doing anything different, that would make my son not have autism? How many things can I possibly feel guilty for?
In the end, these feelings of guilt, I have to shake them off. NOTHING I do now can change what happened in the past. I can only do the best with what I have, with who I am. I don't know exactly why my son, or any child for that matter has autism. There is no known cause, just as there is no real cure. I shouldn't feel guilty for trusting my gut, and doing what I believe is best for my child. No one knows my child better than me, and I am currently his advocate when dealing with the world. Every parent wants to protect there child. When your child is not quite the same as another, those feelings of protection seem to intensify.
I still battle with guilt, even if when I'm rational I realise its unjustified. But I no longer let it paralyse me. Journeying with autism has made me a stronger person. Able to stand up and defend not only my son, but myself. I wouldn't wish autism on anyone, but I wouldn't trade who I am today with who I was before I started this journey.
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